Sexuality and sex

Sexual health is closely related to sexual rights, which are part of human rights that apply to everyone.

Sexual rights are:

• the right to be oneself – to make one’s own decisions about one’s body, to express oneself, to have a positive attitude towards sexuality, to choose one’s own partner, to make one’s own decisions about getting into a relationship, getting married and having children;
• the right to decide whether or not to be sexually active;
• the right to pleasure;
• the right to know – to receive comprehensive sexual education – to have knowledge about sexuality, contraceptive methods, sexually transmitted diseases and one’s sexual rights;
• the right to protect oneself and be protected – against unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and sexual violence;
• the right to counselling and health services that are confidential, accessible, high-quality and youth-friendly;
• the right to participate in the planning of youth-oriented programs and to influence decisions;
• the right to use contraceptives;
• the right to safely terminate a pregnancy;
• the right to a safe pregnancy.

The implementation of sexual rights also means the obligation to respect the sexual rights of other people – the rights of one person cannot be realized through coercion and violence of another.

Intercourse without the informed consent of all parties is sexual violence. This is against the law and has very serious consequences.
Informed and voluntary consent is giving consent to any sexual activity voluntarily and without coercion. Before having sex or any other sexual activity, all parties involved must give their consent to it. It is important to emphasize that no person can and must never assume that someone gives consent – you must always be 100% convinced.

If one of the parties has not consented to sex and it takes place against their will, it is punishable under criminal law.

It can never be assumed that if someone has previously given their consent to an activity, they will give it again. Consent can always be withdrawn at any time and must be reconfirmed. Even if someone has agreed to something once, you should ask again because people can change their minds – even during sex. Consent to one type of sexual activity does not mean consent to all activities. For example, even if one is willing to go to the bedroom, it does not automatically mean that one is willing to engage in sexual intercourse.

To be sure of consent, the surest thing is to simply ask. Asking your partner for permission helps prevent misunderstandings from different signals.

For example, if your partner takes your hand, they may want to signal that they like the activity, but it could also be a signal that they want to stop the activity.

Consent can also be given non-verbally by actively participating in sexual activities. Silent consent is difficult to judge, but if you feel that the partner is hesitant or uncomfortable, you should always stop the activity. Reassure your partner that you don’t want to do anything that doesn’t suit them and ask what could have gone wrong. In certain circumstances, a person is not able to express their free consent to sexual activities. Being in a helpless state (a minor, sick, under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, intellectually disabled, etc.), may not understand the meaning of what happens and, as a result, cannot express their consent or refusal to sexual intercourse. Even if a person in a helpless state behaves and expresses themself sexually defiantly, they are unable to express their free will, and sexual activities in such situation can be considered as ignoring free will, i.e., sexual violence.

Every sexual activity that provides mutual pleasure requires the desire, readiness, consent and free will of both partners

If one of the partners says “no” to sexual activity or otherwise expresses a desire to stop sexual activity, it must be stopped immediately. “No” is never treated as a game or “pretending to be hard to get”. “No” means “no” in any context of sexual activity.

Consent must be given voluntarily, without coercion. If someone consents to sexual activity against their free will, then they have not actually consented to it, and in this case, what happened can be considered as sexual violence!

The most important prerequisite for mutually satisfying sexual activity is knowing that the partner participates in it of their own free will. For example, a partner may agree to oral sex, but not to vaginal intercourse. It may be that at one point in time they agree to touching the genitals, but at another point in time not at all. There is always the right and freedom to refuse. If one of the partners expresses disagreement, then this decision must be respected.

If you’re not sure what consent means, watch the video below. It helps explain how you need to be sure your partner has given consent, drawing parallels with making a cup of tea.

Sex can mean very different things to different people.

Often, when talking about sex, only (vaginal) sexual intercourse is taken into account, but in reality, sex can involve various of different activities for different people. There is no one “right way to have sex“. You have to consider what is pleasant and satisfying for all parties.

Sex can be one of the ways of expressing feelings, love and closeness. On the other hand, the purpose of having sex can be only getting or offering sexual pleasure, confirmation of self-esteem, a source of stress relief, and it may not have anything to do with big feelings. Sex can have different emotional meaning for a person in different periods of life with different partners. In any case, sex is one of the ways to express one´s sexuality.

For example, sex may include any of the following:

• Self-pleasuring or masturbation;
• Kissing or “making out”;
• Caressing, stroking or massage;
• Stimulation of breasts or nipples;
• Rubbing genitals against each other (also through clothes);
• Masturbating together with a partner;
• Stimulating the genitals of the partner with the hand;
• Stimulating the genitals of the partner with the mouth, i.e. mouthsex i.e. oralsex;
• Penis in vagina intercourse;
• Stimulation of the genitals with a sex toy;
• Anal sex (stimulation of the anal region / inserting a penis, finger or sex toy into the anus);
• Chatting with sexual content / sharing sexual fantasies / role playing;
• Bondage games (for example tying the partner’s hands);
• Internet sex, phone sex, webcam sex, messages with sexual content;
• … and much, much more.

Sex can be considered all kinds of activities that cause sexual excitement and pleasure in a person. Not all people will ever have to try all of the above activities, and many will not want to try all of them – that’s perfectly normal. Each person has their own preferences for what and how much they want to experience.

Sexual activities may be performed alone or with a partner or with multiple partners.

NB! If you want to carry out these activities with your partner, you must first ask your partner if they agree. If the partner does not want to do some activities, they must not be forced to do them. Different people are excited by different things. Also, different people have different limits that they don’t want to cross. Sexually transmitted infections can be transmitted by contact with the genitals, anus, mouth, sex toys, and in certain cases also with the skin and mucous membranes. Therefore, it is very important to keep in mind the principles of safe sex.